Shane I have got to take time out boy , it's been 6 long and very sad years , and nothing in this world will ever stop me missing you . But I am pretty poorly as you know , and I need to take time to try and get better , it's going to be a long road I know , but I have got to give it a go for the rest of the family , I have been so consumed by grief that I have made myself really ill . How awful it must have been for all around me trying to pull me back when nothing was working . That brave face eventually gives in to the exhaustion , and your body can take no more . So for now I have to totally rest boy and try and get well , I need to see the most wonderful thing anew generation to our family , Harry Shane White bring him into this world strong and healthy and he will carry your name into the future. I love you Shane and that will never change forever and always xx mum xx